


A Holiday Crowd

by happychica



Series: A Crystal Hewn From Stone [3]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Destroy Ending, Fluff, Headcanon, Krogan kiddies, M/M, loosely Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happychica/pseuds/happychica
Summary: Nothing happens in this whole fic.  It's just fluff and ridiculousness, in honor of an old Earth holiday.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: A Crystal Hewn From Stone [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148366
Kudos: 11





	A Holiday Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place about nine years after the end of the Reaper War. John and Kaidan live on Tuchanka (other headcanon details are included as needed). Kaidan's dad died in the war, but his mom made it and is an active part of their lives. Anya is Liara's daughter.
> 
> The herd of Krogan children are as follows:  
> -Kronk, he/him, big and athletic, adores Vega  
> -Nukilik, she/her, quiet girl who rarely speaks  
> -Ahkla, they/them, rambunctious  
> -Qadira, she/her, "organization saves time", biotic  
> -Grat and Tunk, the twins  
> -Wroth, he/him, tech head and artist

“I don’t think this is the right one. Doesn’t Shepard have a book for this kind of thing?”

“Somewhere, but there are a lot of shelves in here.”

“Couldn’t we scan for it?”

“We could also just search for a version on the extranet.”

“You bunch of mouthpieces wanna can it? We started with this one, we’re doing this one.”

“Hell or high water, as you humans say?”

“Garrus, you’re supposed to be a sniper. Go sit on the couch and observe.”

“That the best you got this morning?”

“No biotics in the kitchen!”

Kaidan opened one eye. Face mashed into the bed, he could still see the opening to their bedroom. It was deceptively devoid of any clue as to the madness downstairs. He closed his eye and sighed.

Fingers moved gently through his hair. “You up?”

“Am now.”

A low chuckle. “That sounds ominous.”

“I remember marrying you. Not the whole crew.”

“Hmm.” The fingers trailed down along his neck, palm coming to rest against his nape. “They’re just enthusiastic.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t think Jack sleeps.”

“Amigos! The party arrives!”

Kaidan opened his eye again, glancing in the direction of his husband. “How –“

“Wait for it.”

“JAAACK”

“RAAAAH”

John winced. “I think that’s all of them.”

“You knew about this?”

“I had an idea.” John ran his hand back up, threading fingers back through Kaidan’s hair as the noise level downstairs increased proportional to the number of Krogan now present, Grunt’s low thunder cutting through the higher-pitched shouts. “I brought your medicine.”

“I’d like to think our friends wouldn’t cause a migraine.”

“I’m not sure physiology works that way.”

A loud crash brought both of their attention back to the doorway. Kaidan sighed again. “We should probably go investigate.”

“Close your eyes.”

Kaidan did. The fingers in his hair disappeared, replaced by the feeling of lips at his temple.

“Morning, beautiful.”

Kaidan grinned into the mattress. “Morning.”

“We have guests.” The soft tap of the medicine bottle being set on the bedside table. “Loud ones.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mm.”

Rolling over, Kaidan opened both his eyes this time. John was still sitting on the side of the bed, expression gentle and open. Kaidan lifted a hand to tug at John’s shirt. “You’re already dressed.”

“Been up for a while.”

“You could have gotten me up, too.”

“You were sleeping hard.” John’s eyes twinkled. “I didn’t have the heart.”

Kaidan sat up, tugging John close. “Well, thanks, but next time? Wake me.”

A slow, tender kiss, balancing out the thuds of things being thrown below. John hummed and ran his nose along Kaidan’s cheek before getting to his feet. “I refilled the water glass. See you shortly?”

He watched John walk out of the room and start down the stairs before flopping back on the bed. Bright sunlight streamed through the window above their bed. It took some getting used to, the lack of real seasons on this part of Tuchanka, as opposed to growing up in western Canada. He could do without the heatwaves, but mornings like this, he wouldn’t live anywhere else.

Rolling out of bed, Kaidan ran through his morning routine, shouts and more traditional greetings announcing John’s arrival on the first floor. Stopping by the bed, Kaidan debated the little bottle. It’d been so long since he’d had a real head-splitter, but with so many of their friends in one space…

He popped the lid, catching two pills in his hand. Better safe than sorry.

Sliding the door to their room most of the way closed, Kaidan watched Ahkla chase Tunk around the couch from the top the stairs. They’d made a point to space their furniture out so none of their guests would feel cramped or, hopefully, knock anything over. Somebody had set up the ginormous fireplace, holographic logs crackling merrily in front of a pleased Nukilik. EDI seemed to be explaining something to the young girl, both oblivious to the crashing Krogan behind them.

“You going to stay up here all day?”

Kaidan turned with a smile. “Hey, Mom. How’d you sleep?”

“I appreciate the upstairs bedroom more this morning.” Elena hugged her son, cheek resting on his shoulder. “How you slept through their arrival, I’ll never know. Spec Ops training, indeed.”

“Trust is a funny thing.”

“Hmph.” Patting Kaidan on the back, Elena headed down the stairs. “Come on, let’s find breakfast.”

Breakfast was not to be found in their kitchen. Jack, Tali, Sam, and Garrus were huddled over a datapad, studying something. Liara was watching from a safe distance, tapping on her omni-tool and failing to hide her amusement. Jack’s arms were coated in white powder, as was most of Garrus’ head. Sam’s hair, which had probably been done nice for the day, was showing signs of having been tugged at in concentration. Tali seemed unscathed, but Kaidan noticed a glass with an emergency induction port sticking out of it.

“We have dextro-friendly EggNog?” he asked, leaning next to John against the wall that divided the sitting area from the dinning and kitchen space.

“Apparently.” John slid an arm around Kaidan’s waist. “I’ve been told I’m not allowed to help.”

“What are they doing?”

“Baking.”

Kaidan bit his lip. “You’re not allowed to help at all?”

“NO,” three determined voices boomed from the kitchen. Elena laughed and sidestepped Wroth, who was sitting in the middle of the traffic pattern, tapping away at a datapad of his own. Anya sat next to him, tiny blue hands playing game of catch her own shadow. James had dragged a table from the back room and looked like he might be the source of Tali’s drink. Steve was handing him bottles from a box they’d brought, chuckling at whatever story the newly minted N7 was telling.

John grinned at Kaidan. “Guess not.”

“Is someone gonna help the cripple?”

Both of them moved to look around the wall. Joker was standing at the front door, three boxes balanced in his arms. Releasing his hold, John walked over to relieve their friend of his great burden. “What are these?”

“No idea.”

The morning continued with it’s cheerful, almost controlled chaos. The mess in the kitchen never seemed to coalesce into anything edible, but neither did anything catch fire. Elena had marched in at one point to rescue several loaves of bread, butter, and as many jars of jam as she could shove into Liara’s surprised arms. Setting up on the coffee table farther from the fireplace, she traded breakfast for gossip, catching up on the last year and a half she’d been back on Earth. There was a minor crisis over the orange marmalade, but the appearance of a second jar convinced the twins that there need be no charging demonstrations after all.

Kronk stationed himself at his usual position near James, observing the large human and helping in any task James undertook. Steve guarded the drinks table, agreeing and insisting that standard morning caffeine offerings were an essential part of his post, no matter what holiday it was. Kaidan thanked him profusely for his coffee, ignoring John’s face in order to better appreciate the taste.

“I know the Alliance loves it, but we have other things you can drink.”

“You’re the only soldier I know who only drinks coffee under duress,” Steve laughed. Kaidan wrapped his hands around the mug and sighed happily. “Most of us just choke it down till we get the good stuff.”

“We have good stuff,” John grumbled.

“Keep your English Breakfast,” Kaidan said. “I promise to eat something before I kiss you.”

The induction of Qadira and Nukilik to the kitchen party helped streamline the process. Bossy enough to rival Miranda, Qadira wasted no time in berating the adults about wasting supplies and generally acting foolish. Nukilik collected up the fallen containers and cookie cutters, handing them back to a giggling Tali to pile on the counter. While Jack and Sam explained the original plan to Qadira, Garrus mumbled his excuses and fled to the fireplace, joining Grunt and Kasumi in a discussion about how to find the best rare armor mods.

John, Joker, and a reluctant Wrex had undertaken the mission of teaching Ahkla, Wroth, Grat, and Tunk how to make paper chains. Elena had fished the supplies out of one of Joker’s boxes, explaining the concept to a nodding John, who had apparently made something similar for one of the local churches back during his time with the Reds. Wrex, being a capable teacher, had been volunteered by Bakara to wrangle the young ones, and Joker hadn’t been fast enough to avoid being set upon by delighted children. EDI had been whisked away by Elena and Bakara to work on something upstairs, much to Joker’s increased frustration.

“I don’t understand the point of these things.”

“They’re colorful.”

Joker scowled. “But what do we do with them?”

“Hang them up,” John replied. “Over windows or along walls, usually.”

“What are we doing?” Steve watched Wrex frown at the little paper strip in his hands, giant Krogan tongue peeking out in concentration. Wroth held his neat chain up for Steve’s edification and approval. “Very nice.”

“We’re gonna hang things!” shouted Ahkla, helpfully waving their completed chain in the air. “Anyone who tries to sneak up on this place will be distracted by our pretty paper!”

“We should forward these new security ideas to Zaeed,” Joker mumbled. Panic replaced annoyance as the twins demanded they do this right away, lest their mercenary hero be caught unawares by invaders who might attack before dinner.

Collecting up the last of the breakfast things before anyone else confused jam with glue, John picked his way out of the seating area. He cocked his head at Kaidan, who was sitting on the stairs, enjoying a mug of cider that proved James poured with a heavy hand. “Have you been sitting here all morning?”

“Since Mom found the construction paper.” Kaidan shrugged. “I’m having fun watching.”

“Yeah?” John sat next to him, jars and half a loaf of bread resting on his lap. “Need some company?”

“Nukilik was over here for a while. I think she liked the smell of James’ cider.”

“Steve gets the good stuff.”

Leaning against John’s shoulder, Kaidan watched as Joker resorted to climbing over the back of the couch to avoid having his pockets riffled. “I wonder what Zaeed would do with paper chains.”

“Complain bitterly and never take them down,” John said firmly. “He keeps threatening to ‘establish a secondary base’ here.”

“He wouldn’t be our most violent neighbor.”

“Don’t tell him that.”

“Hey, Shep.”

They both turned to look at the thief sitting behind them on the stairs. Kasumi grinned from under her hood, a green number this time.

“How upset would you be if I gave Nukilik a cloaking device? Just a standard one, for practice.”

“Cloaked Krogan,” Kaidan murmured. He knew that look on John’s face.

“You gonna teach her how to use it?”

“You’re just excited she’ll be able to scare the daylights out of her enemies when she’s older,” Kasumi chided, sounding pleased by the idea herself.

John’s grin was all delight. “She’ll do that anyway.” The look dimmed, John looking thoughtful. “I know she doesn’t talk much, but will the cloaking tech make her too inclined to avoid people?”

“I doubt it.” Kasumi stood up. “She’s the most confident kid I know, including Qadira, and she really likes this bunch. Unless something goes horribly wrong, she’ll probably end up like me.”

Kaidan watched Kasumi ripple out of sight. “A Krogan master thief.” He looked at John. “And the Council thought your ideas during the war were annoying.”

“I love it.” John had that look again. “I love it. I love her. I love you.” Leaning forward, John kissed him. “I’m going to put this stuff back. Assuming the let me in the kitchen.”

“Ask Nukilik if you can borrow her cloaking device.”

John stood, his laugh following him as he walked toward the kitchen.

There was some debate as to whether John would be allowed to return his items to their proper places, or whether boys should be allowed in the kitchen at all. John had the good sense not to point out it was technically his kitchen in the first place, but he did argue he knew where everything went, and wouldn’t it be faster if he just did it? A short conference, ending with a declaration that Liara had witnessed the items being taken and thus could put them back, despite the Asari’s protests that she didn’t want to.

Handing off his cargo, John surveyed the space, taking in the antics, and made his way back to the stairs. Kaidan raised an eyebrow and drained his mug. “Still in exile?”

“Want to take a walk?”

“And leave our home at the mercy of these lunatics?” Kaidan set his mug down on the floor. “Why not.”

They slipped out the front door, John pleading a forgotten item on the porch. Shutting the door behind them, they walked down the few steps to the path that led up to their house. Upon reaching the first curve, John grabbed Kaidan’s hand and they took off across the open ground instead, headed toward the biotic compound. Nobody would be doing any real work today, not with Jack and Kaidan busy with their friends and Oriana off visiting her parents and sister.

Slowing as they reached the edge of the outdoor practice space, Kaidan leaned against the fence to catch his breath. “I thought you said a walk.”

“Winded, Spectre Alenko?”

Kaidan shoved John, grinning as the other stumbled a step. “Come on.”

They scaled the fence, which was more for Varren and young Krogan anyway, and started off across the packed dirt of the yard. They wandered between the buildings, Kaidan checking a few locks out of habits, enjoying the unusual lack of students. The few people they did pass waved or called a greeting but kept to themselves. A genuine day off was not going to be wasted on making nice to the administration.

“Did you and Jack ever have that talk about including younger students?” John asked. “Older teens, maybe.”

“I talked to Oriana about it,” Kaidan replied, “but I haven’t approached Jack, yet. We don’t want to step on the Alliance’s toes, and we’re not part of any of their programs, but I also don’t want her thinking this is some kind of…Pragia 2.”

“Jack’s been involved in setting up this place since we started it. I think I asked her about it before I told you.”

“I know.” Kaidan kicked a rock, watching it skitter out of his way. “But informed adults with medical problems that had nowhere else to go is always going to be different than kids with families.”

“We’re wouldn’t be taking them from their families. It’d be like…” John thought for a moment. “Boarding school?”

“I get that. I just want to make sure I don’t unearth any bad memories, make Jack think this wasn’t on the level, even for a second.” Kaidan looked up at the sky. It wasn’t blue, but something about Tuchanka made everything just a little bit red, even her sky. “You were very careful to make sure I didn’t think you were trying to set up some kind of adult B.A.a.T. I’m just doing the same for Jack’s past.”

“She’d hit you if she knew you were being so considerate.”

“More like throw me through a wall." They’d reached the far end of the compound. “Should we head back?”

John tugged at a stretch of fencing, pulling loose a section. “They’re adults and this isn’t a prison – they can just walk out the front gate.”

“Sneaking out is more fun.”

John looked at him, then ducked down through the loose fencing. Kaidan rolled his eyes and followed. They walked along the outside of the fence, turning away to follow a trail of boulders that lead out to a cliff top view.

Reaching the top, John dropped to the ground, legs crossed as he settled back on his hands. Kaidan stayed standing, taking in the expanse around them. From here, it looked like Tuchanka would stay feral and broken forever, but past that hazy patch was the road that led to the City of the Ancients – John had roped together more Krogan academics than any of them suspected existed to make sure the City was properly excavated and documented. Hopefully they’d be able to use it again one day. Off to their right, the Kelphic Valley was the center of hope and reform Bakara had worked so hard to make it. The biotic compound was technically on Urdnot territory, not the least because it was one of the human-friendly clans, but knowing all that was out there, sometimes Kaidan felt like they were lucky to have their home tucked away from all that.

“I can hear you thinking from all the way down here.” John was looking up at him, everything about his posture relaxed. He patted the ground beside him. “Sit.”

Kaidan sat, settling next to John so the younger man rested his arm across Kaidan’s shoulder on instinct. The boulders weren’t enough to cause a wind tunnel, but the breeze would get chilly if they stayed up here for long.

“Were they at least good thoughts?” John’s mouth was pressed against his temple, eyes closed.

“Just thinking about how different Tuchanka is from before the war. Before you cured the Genophage.” Kaidan moved John’s arm from his shoulders to around his waist, lacing their fingers together as John hummed against him. “I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. All the people you helped, and still do.”

John moved, just enough to rest their foreheads against each other when Kaidan looked at him. “Thanks. It wasn’t all noble motivations, though.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaidan kissed him. “You say that, and then you tell me about child queens and corrupt governments and little children, how could you say no?”

“What about brown eyes I couldn’t stand to see cry?”

Kaidan kissed him again. “Selfish of me to influence you like that. War decisions can’t be about just one person.”

“Can’t anthropomorphize galaxy,” John said, like he was repeating a phrase. “Can think of the man I love.”

He was debating how to convince John that, Cerberus upgrades or not, he was starting to shiver, when their omni-tools flashed.

“Either your porch is way bigger than it used to be or you jerks abandoned me.”

“Problem, Joker?”

“Everybody here’s either drinking or has extra organs. Get your butts back here before somebody dares me to jump off something!”

“Guess that’s us told,” Kaidan said.

John smiled fondly and kissed his cheek. “Let’s go.”

Their home was still standing when they made it back. Tali was sitting on the porch steps, swapping to a tune she was humming. “Hey, Shepard. Kaidan.” She hiccupped.

“Keeping watch?” John asked.

“James said the fresh air would do me good.” Tali waved a hand at herself. “He means well, but I worry about you N7s sometimes.”

“How’s that going, by the way?” John tapped Tali on the helmet. “I thought the plan was to make the suits optional?”

“On Rannoch, maybe. Tuchanka is about as far from a, hic, safe or sensible environment as I could possibly get. Besides, it’s only been five…six…not that many years since the Reapers anyway.” Tali looked up at them, still swaying gently. “It takes time to rebuild all that atrophied capacity.”

John was nodding solemnly. “Well, when you’re doing sorting out James’ fresh air, feel free to come inside and help. I’m going to find a way back into my kitchen, hell or high water, and make a sandwich.”

“Garrus likes that phrase.”

Back in the house, someone had strung the paper chains around the seating areas. Cut out shapes decorated the dividing wall, as well as having been attached to every vertical surface below a meter in height. A pile of sleeping children snored in front of the fireplace. EDI nodded to them so as not to disturb the pilot asleep with his head in her lap. Steve, James, Kasumi, and Elena were discussing something over mugs of cider. Bakara and Liara were restoring the kitchen to order, while bass rumbling suggested Grunt and Wrex had been banished upstairs, taking Garrus with them. Sam was sitting on the stairs, hair in complete disarray, furiously tapping away on a laptop while Jack supplied colorful support against whichever extranet fool had tried to take S.Tr8y963’s crown from her.

“Boys, you’re back.” Elena waved them over to the meeting. “Having liberated the kitchen, we were hoping you two might be amenable to making food.”

Kaidan blushed as his stomach chose that moment to have an opinion. James guffawed, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle himself. Steve saluted with his mug. “Food would be much appreciated.”

“Give us half an hour,” John said, taking Kaidan by the elbow and, finally, walking into the kitchen.

“What can we make in half an hour that feeds this bunch?” Kaidan whispered.

John shot him a mischievous look and pulled open the freezer draw with a foot. “Told you I suspected something.”

Half an hour later, they’d emptied the freezer. Casseroles, soup, some kind of dessert Sam called a trifle, plus a set of high end dextro-rations Liara and Steve had teamed up to find last minute covered the counter. The smells of reheated food had roused everyone, and everyone, the tall and the small, filed through to help themselves.

Keeping to the back of the kitchen he’d so recently regained, John held out a plate to Kaidan. It looked like a sandwich.

“You told me you’d never had turkey.”

Kaidan picked up the sandwich, eyeing the pale meat inside. “It’s like chicken, right?”

“Chicken that actually tastes good.”

John watched him take a bite. Kaidan wasn’t sure anyone really enjoyed being watched while they ate, but at least N7 training included being patient. He swallowed. “What’s in it?”

“Turkey, butter, mayo, salt, pepper.” John shrugged. “Bread.”

“It’s good.”

“Yeah?” For a fourty-three-year-old man, John looked more like an eight-year-old boy. “Really?”

“Really.” Kaidan took another bite, as if to prove the point. John retrieved his own sandwich, hiding his pleased look with a bite of his own.

“You two hiding? How bad is this vid Tali picked out?”

“Hey!”

Jack looked over her shoulder, hands on her hips. “I didn’t know you watched anything besides ‘Fleet & Flotilla’, Admiral Zorah.”

“It’s an Earth holiday, so I picked an Earth vid.”

“That she will probably sleep through,” Jack muttered. She’d cleaned the white off her arms, but some of it still dusted her hair. “Come on, boys. You’re part of this party; no hiding from ancient Earth humor.”

“I like this vid,” came Elena’s amused opinion. “1940s, I believe?”

“Two hundred and fifty years, give or take.” Jack was glaring now. “Yippee.”

The screen had been pulled down over the fireplace, couches and chairs repositioned as needed, Ahkla, Grat, Tunk, James, Kronk, and Sam sat on the floor. Qadira had claimed the other spot next to EDI, Anya perched on her lap while Wroth had tucked himself at Bakara’s feet. Neither Nukilik nor Kasumi was anywhere to be seen.

Retrieving the blanket from the back of the farther couch, John watched as Jack flung herself onto the far end of the nearer couch. Kaidan settled more calmly on his end, propping himself up against the couch arm and setting the plate with the remains of both their sandwiches on the floor, out of the way. John sat, draping himself over Kaidan in their usual fashion before spreading the blanket out over them both.

Once everyone was settled to Admiral Zorah’s satisfaction, she ordered Garrus to commence Connecticut’s Festivities, perched precariously as she was on the back of Grunt’s chair. The lights dimmed as the vid started.

“Why is there no color?” Jack asked.

“1940s,” offered Elena.

“People had color back then,” retorted Jack. She paused. “Right? That’s not some weird history fact?”

“Wrex, you’re old,” Tali announced. “When did the world get color?”

“Yes, Wrex,” agreed Bakara, “you’re old. Do you remember before color?”

“Hush, I’m trying to watch the vid.”

As the vid moved on - from an apartment in New York and something about a newspaper story to a farm in Connecticut and a lot of people just missing some crucial detail - Kaidan felt himself relaxing. The food, the lighting, the quiet, confused commentary of their friends, the warm weight on top of him.

“You idiots going to fall asleep?”

“Probably.” John didn’t sound apologetic.

“You’ll never find out if the cook gets his friend out of her own mess.”

“Of course he does; it’s a Christmas movie.” John snuggled closer, tucking his head under Kaidan’s chin. “Kaidan?”

“Hm?”

He could feel the smile through the material of his shirt. “You good?”

“Hm.”

“Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t burn my house down.”

“Whatever.”

Kaidan watched the few stars he could see through the high window. It looked like their friends didn’t cause migraines after all. Resettling his arms around John, Kaidan buried his nose in the blanket, someone shouting about kidneys in the background. John huffed a laugh, teetering on the edge of sleep himself. Kaidan sighed, happy, and closed his eyes.


End file.
